It's a difficult day, in the sense that I wasn't able to think or function properly. I attempted working several times with no luck. Same with writing. I ended up watching a couple of episodes of Vikings, and here I am again in my work space, hope to be able to catch up on anything at all before I retire to my bed. I slept a lot today and I wish to sleep some more. I felt so overwhelmed like I haven't in a while, and I gave it some reflection, it occurred to me that it's due to the socializing lately, it's been a busy weekend. This has always been the case with me, but in the days of corona and social distancing / lockdowns and curfews, I'm experiencing those symptoms more so than ever before.
Besides me lay a big notebook, I dug it a while ago from my special journals box. On the first page, there's the list of New Year's resolutions 2016. On the 3 following sheets, a draft of what my book should be about, and how it should be written. Plenty of notes and a pretty nice vision for a beautiful project that has always been inside me and grew with me. The period stretching from Autumn 2015 till Summer 2016 was spent in Beit Meri. I have some fond memories on our life there, but some bitter ones too.
The remainder of the notebook is blank, and is yet to be filled.
My life seems to be like this, filled with notes and drafts, and projects dropped or postponed or interrupted. There's chaos in the way I am doing life, and a very thin line is separating what is being forced unto me, and what I am getting myself entrapped with.
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