Yasmina slept over at her aunt's last night. She hasn't done so in a really long while. It's healthy for her to have special time with her aunty, a different adult, a different family member, different vibe, ways and everything. She has been struggling with my strict and rigid ways recently. Those are only meant to achieve, try to anyway, a sort of balance. Extremes call for extremes; her very laid back approach to studying is rather concerning at this stage. The unprecedented "online" classes are sure to frustrate the hell out of any adolescent in the time of blossoming, they're been imprisoned inside their houses, with more screen time, and very little room for self expression and true learning. Still, she needs to upgrade her ways to adjust and catch up. She is well behind, and the scholar year is nearing the end. Only two years away from joining college, things are getting real. So much time wasted already, and in my opinion, there simply is no more time for passiveness and allowing things to take their course. Though she differs with me about this, but I stand my grounds! I often tell her I am simply doing my job as her mother when she feels things are getting personal. I don't choose to be this or that way, if it comes to me, I really would rather just to live and let live, be left alone to my own shenanigans really, but this is my duty towards her. There isn't much more years of this, soon enough she would be held accountable for all her actions. While I am still involved in her life, I with to give it my all, and this does mean that she starts to resent me at this stage, and I have made peace with that too.
It's a peaceful and quite morning, though cat got lonely, she usually sleeps in Yasmina's room and spends the mornings with her. She meowed and meowed at my door early in the morning, I had to let her in. Some cuddles under the covers did the trick, but she soon after got hyper, and I had to let her out again. This is all still very new to us. We, getting to learn about cats in general, and her in particular, and I suppose her, getting to learn about us, her new home, the boundaries and the potentials of fun and comfort she could get. She's not a kitten at 8 months old, but not an adult cat either. I am hoping by summertime we would have formed some strong bonds and new healthy routines for us all to enjoy each other and this life together.
I am planning on making the best out of my weekend, take things easy, nurture my mind, body and soul. Come next week, I have to implement new routines at work. I will have to manage both creativity and productivity. Creativity mostly needed for my personal Ardh124 jewelry content, and productivity for the business Calligraphics Jewelry. I am well aware I would need to delegate tasks for the business eventually to allow for proper growth, but I am unable to do so at this stage still. Teaching somebody all the things I currently do and manage will take so much time and effort that I always end up preferring doing the things myself. Perhaps it's something to look into for next year, if possible at all. For now, I have to keep doing my thing, stick with whatever works, and improve on things wherever possible, little step at a time. It's more or less how I always managed, minus the new regular, usual setbacks of recent.
I've managed to curb some of my cravings this week, and slow the pace of eating / snacking / binging to some extent. I will need to gradually too be more disciplined with that in the coming weeks, in the hope of reaching a very good new routine come April.
I started a new book yesterday, it's nothing too special, called Memoirs of a Dervish, just managed to get it amongst other second hand books from one of the Lebanese groups on Facebook. I haven't yet managed to get adjusted to the new prices of things, particularly books. A typical 17$ - 23$ book now is basically around 200.000 LBP!! That amount too used to be the total of my weekly shopping cart at the supermarket. These days, it hardly covers fruits and vegetables and a couple of chocolate bars. Dark chocolate now is such a luxury item. I remember this time last year I was talking to a friend about how apocalyptical things feel. A year later now things are even more so. Very Orwellian too, but, I shall do what I must; stay focused always, get centered often, and align with my plans and visions at all times.
Detox, cleanse, recharge, repeat.
On that note, I must stop the musing and get on with the day.
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