Catch me if you can

I've been told lately by many people that I've lost weight, this usually means I lost a lot, because little or average amount doesn't make a big different in my looks. I didn't realize it myself if it wasn't to those remarks, since the number one important component of drastic weight loss is usually feeling fresh and light in my body. Because that didn't happen this time around, I couldn't perceive the weight loss. But now after inspection, it's hitting me that I have indeed lost a lot of weight and seems like I am still losing more, and I'm absolutely happy and excited, since my body has been stagnant and blocked for years on end, still I had to question why is it that I don't feel it in my body. Well first of all, all the chronic pains from the years past, and all the new crippling ones from the recent events and mostly last year, are still very much there and almost always activated. Secondly, I believe I am still disassociated somewhat; it feels as though there's a little gap between myself and my body, this is why moving feels as though I am dragging it, and as though it is lagging. It is why I love walking a lot, because despite the painful and timely preparation to leave the house, the heaviness and the pains while moving, the absolute exhaustion afterwards, I still somehow feel like I am doing it with my body, and I am one with it in those moments of walking. It is also why I am trying to bring back the dancing routine, for I can't be just in my body when it requires heavy work (yes walking has been feeling like that nowadays), but also in the soft and pleasurable moments, and ultimately, in the pause, and stillness. This proves one thing for sure, the more you think you've healed, the more there is to heal! One does not realize just how messed up existing in this reality is, or even how much labor and work coming out of some of its entrapments requires. Still, I am grateful, for even managing to escape some of its many tentacles, and I carry on the work every moment, of every day, as long and as much as I can, until ultimate liberation. But for now, being slippery, smoother, and thinner seems to be doing the trick of being uncatchable!