The brain

The thing that got damaged by a lifetime of abuse, is the very thing that is required to get me out of the damage itself, is the very thing that is behind my earning my keep, it is also the very thing that I've often needed to numb me out of the pain of abuse, is the very thing that is supposed to help me learn, expand, and ascend, is the very thing responsible for comfort and pleasure, is the thing for both surviving and thriving, is the very thing that through fine tuning gets to help transcend this very damaging realm. 

It is no wonder that I have taken naturally and organically the path of cleaning my brain, although I wasn't aware what I was doing at the time. It is also no wonder every now and then I have an urge to numb, use, and self abuse. 

This journey of self healing is of utmost sensitive nature, and although I stumble and fall and mess up more often than I would ideally want to, I still come back to it, and sometimes it's only just hope and belief, for I am indeed so very tired, a lifetime of tiredness, disregulation, and attempts at regulation. 

It is fair to say that I am an absolute different person since I've cut out sugar completely from my system 6 months ago. I am still falling on breads and dairy, which they have to go too, one thing at a time, for indeed there is no need anymore to fall, or fall on anything at all for that matter.