The mother thief

Once a thief, always a thief. I should've known better. What is few thousands dollars for you when you have stolen hundreds of thousands from others. What am I after all but only just the mother of your daughter. What was that money for but only just to feed, clothe, educate, and house your daughter.

I paid for your absence, I paid for your family's absence, I paid for your mistakes, brother did too. He paid such a very high price with his life and health for your mistakes. I don't think he forgave you, but he's just as sweet and naiive as I have been. Maybe he did, maybe he does secretly prays for you like I used to. For your coming back from this madness, for standing up by the right, for standing up for the good. You stole my youth, my years, my days. My education, my hopes and dreams, my baby's dreams. You stole her joy, by not bringing any normality to her life. All I ever did was run from one place to another, trying to hide and distract her from the fact that she has no family, that there is no father, that there are no men in sight. I was a woman turned mother turned man, and a father, but I failed, because... won't you just look at us now!

Everybody's angry at me because I'm speaking the truth. Well no need to keep quiet anymore, no point keeping up appearances anymore. She's gone, it's all over. She was gone very long time ago, I was too busy making up for everything and everyone to notice. Isn't this the saddest existence!

You, Fouad bahjat mekdash, aka Richard Macleod, are one hell of a deranged, sociopath, narcissistic, egotistic, pathetic criminal. You are the daughter's thief! You robbed your daughter from her mother's money that she had allocated to look after her. Could any human on earth comprehend this, and then explain it to me, because I'm still unable to fathom this, nor your existence. Why haven't you died already? Now you give her money directly to fool her that you're a good person, that you are what she got. You pay for love, like you always have, you cheap, cheap, dirty piece of shit. She's playing your game too, give and take for a price, aren't you some family, aren't those some genes!

I'm so glad everybody left, leave me be with my standards and morals and call me crazy all you want, for I can no longer tolerate those mind fuck, twisted games you guys play. 

My sister too, and that stupid big brother, all of you sickly politically correct idiots, all of you rotten on the inside. Twisted minds and twisted hearts and twisted acts. You only just keep up the clean words, and your appearances. You deranged fucks!

Steal and hold my money all you want, for indeed you will never own me, you would never break me, you could only keep trying for ever, like you always have, to have a hold of me, to control me, or bend me, or tame me in any way. You're so fucking stupid for all your trials and attempts, for thinking that you, with your darkness and mediocre existence, could touch me. Unlike you, I've kept my core untouched, it will keep me this long haul. 

That money you are keeping is not yours, energy can't be held, it flows. It's God's money, we're meant to use just like everything that is energy to create pur path in this life. You still can't see the fate you're living, you still can't see the misery you're creating, you still can't see the curse. Break it already, or lose yourself fully, there is not much time left. Quit living off on people's money! Quit investing money to buy yourself love! Start loving yourself, and everything will flow towards you... 

But what do I know.

I'm only just a mad woman, 

And a robbed, childless mother.