Nee Saan

The days and seasons are blending into each other. I am dragging a very heavy weight package through them. My coping mechanisms changing only in appearance, deep inside the pain is one and the same. I need a closure, or to validate it myself. The longing is ever growing, and the warmer weather is only making it more obvious. I wish to avoid still this very existence; I haven't been able to make peace with so much fire within that cries out for so much air and water. I keep grounding myself, but I'm sprouting just as much as I'm routing, and I should remind myself of the elegance of not resisting a fate of ripened fruits being wasted away. My solace is Autumn, always looking forward to Autumn, any time of the year, especially in Spring, especially in April.

... نيسان