S.O.S

I cursed the curse that cursed you, 

This morning,

Mother!

Oh how I hate this existence that birthed your narcissism, my stuck in a loop with it, and all of the narcissistic men that moved me!

I cursed the milk you fed me,

I am still unsure you ever nursed me,

But I sure looked for that kind of affection from all the men that held me.

This reality has been crumbling for a while now,

I just wish I find the exist button soon,

To release myself once and for all.

I keep spiraling in and out;

One end has hope of healing and breaking the toxic patterns,

The other end takes me deeper into the rabbit hole.

I keep expanding and shrinking, 

So does my heart and mind,

And this achy body,

Which keeps craving physical affection like an orphaned infant.

I keep longing for the men to mother me,

And I keep mothering all those who dare to love me.

What else is there after all that has been said and done,

But a never healed, always open, damned mother wound!!!

Curse this reality...

Curse this realm...

God have mercy,

Please!

SOS!!!