Hindsight

There couldn't have possibly been a greater pain than the one I've been through from being alienated by you. As the ice melts on my frozen and hardened pain, it is being revealed to me that I have indeed done it all to myself, by myself, for how else could I have given you the gift of free will, which is what you truly wanted, and what I wanted for you. 

The pain did what it always does: creates insomnia. That's trauma for you, and it happened in real time. But now I've awakened, and I know that not all mothers' love is great, but mine to you was. 

I'm humbled and grateful beyond words for God and the strength I was given to carry through this most noble act my soul has sat out to do. I have indeed released you. I loved you that much. You do and did with your free will whatever on earth you like. The rest is for us to deal with. I have dealt and am dealing with my part. 

I see the broken women around, whose kids are latching unto their very soul. You fantasied about that stereotype, the broken depleted women, but I have to break the news for you; this kind of mothers couldn't possibly fathom the concept of freedom for themselves, let alone their kids. Nor be as hardy as going childless mothers, it's detrimental for their existence! You have been blessed. It wasn't random though, you have indeed made the choice, I was the one for the mission. Your soul might come online and remind you one day. 

Done and dusted, matey! 

We are soulmates, that's a fact. 

(I hope you're searching for and finding your soul family.)

When you're in your fourty's you will understand, and perhaps you might even remember by yourself at some stage before. 

None of it matters, it's all good. 

For now though, here's another prayer, and a new goodbye...

في أمان الله والقلب داعيلك